I made a big decision recently when it comes to my online identity (read it here - 'Let Go to Move Forward'), and even more recently went a full 360 back on that decision as it's where my heart lead me.
It's hard sometimes going back on one's word, but as humans we are forever evolving, ever-changing, emotional beings, one moment we might feel one way, the next.. another way. I'm a big believer in following these feelings, even if they lead, for example in my case, 'backwards'. After going back towards something I decided to let go of, I now know that I had nothing to worry about, but worry a lot I did before I did it. I was worried what my community would think of me (again) after making such a big deal about leaving it behind in the first place, I was worried that they wouldn't come with me (again), I was worried that I was making a very bad decision (again), but, I wasn't, I know that now. There's no such thing as backwards if it helps you grow.
Throughout my entire life I have changed my mind more than I could ever count. Some days I am lead towards one thing, and the next a total opposite direction, and I realise now that this is what life is, it's one big maze that will always pull you in different directions, but what matters when you are going in these different directions is that you stay true to you, to who you are, to who you know you are, that's what matters.
If something doesn't feel right to you, this isn't by coincidence, there's a reason. Humans are walking vibrations, energy filled vessels, though not all of us allow ourselves to connect to the rhythms of our hearts and souls to really listen. I often tune in to how I am feeling, not that I always act on it, though in this instance I did for various reasons. It's important to go within and seek direction. I did ask my community if they thought I was making the right choice, but deep down I knew that I was going to do it anyway, because it felt right, I needed to do it for me, and hold my head high whilst I waited out any ripples that came with it. So far I feel very grateful in that I haven't lost anything by doing so, in my opinion I feel I have actually gained from the situation, because it's shown others that it's ok to change your mind, even when it comes to big decisions that you have already made, because it's what makes you human. I would rather go back on my word and feel the ups and downs for myself, than never know what might have been. To me, growing doesn't always mean forward, or up. Don't be afraid to give yourself the opportunity to follow your heart, no matter the direction. It may not always work out, but if you trust in your path, more often than not, it will.
All my love,